Beautiful Graves

“Pippa opens her mouth, no doubt to flirt with him. Something seizes me. I grab her by the wrist and pull her away. She is stumbling behind me, trying to yank herself free. But I’m propelled by fear and motivation.”

This passage in the first chapter illustrates Ever’s inherent instinct to run in times of difficulty. She is afraid to witness her friend flirting with a man in whom she herself is interested, but at the same time, she is too afraid to pursue him. As a result, she follows her overwhelming urge to escape the situation entirely. This scene therefore serves as a precursor to her continued habit of fleeing tough situations over the next six years of her life.

“He had his chance and he blew it. He should’ve run after her faster. And when he almost reached her, he should have yanked the back of her shirt without caring what it’d look like. He should have told her she was perfect. But he didn’t, so now he needs to jump.”

This unfinished draft of the novel that 19-year-old Joe is working on delves into the novel’s broader commentary on the nature of death and regret. His protagonist regrets not seizing the moment and making the most of his decisions in life and therefore loses the love of his life due to his own inaction. In many ways, this passage reflects Joe’s own emotions about his failed connection with Ever after they first meet.

“This is the part where I should suggest we exchange emails, or numbers, or Instagram handles. Anything. Have I learned nothing from the past two weeks? I’ve felt homesick toward this guy like he was a place, and now I’m going to let him walk away, just like that? But something stops me. Pride? Fear? A combination of both?”

Though her mother’s death fosters most of her inaction, this passage makes it clear that Ever is already allowing her fears to push her into making drastic decisions even before tragedy hits. She is afraid to pursue Joe—the stranger she meets on a girls’ trip to Spain—and she almost leaves without getting his contact information.