Binding 13

“I remembered crying so hard that day, not in front of them of course, but in the toilets. I had bolted myself into a cubicle and contemplated on ending it all. On just taking a bunch of tablets and being done with the whole damn thing.”

In Shannon’s first chapter, the reader is introduced to The Psychological Effects of Trauma. She makes it clear that she has considered suicide in the past and does so again later in the novel as she suffers abuse from her father.

“These were boys. I played with men. I often wondered what the point was in playing on the school team. It didn’t do shite for me. Club level was basic enough but school boy rugby was a fucking waste of my time.”

In the novel’s first chapter from Johnny’s perspective, it is made clear that he has little interest in playing rugby at Tommen because it does nothing for him. It conveys Johnny’s extreme focus on rugby, as he is uninterested in anything one would typically get from organized athletics—things like teamwork, friendship, and fun—and is only interested in what the sport can do for his future.

“Jesus, this girl was beautiful. I’d noticed it earlier of course, she had a striking look about her, but now, seeing her up close like this and being able to count the freckles on her face—eleven by the way—it was hitting home just how striking she was. Her blue eyes were big and round and fucking beautiful.”

In the first moments that Johnny really looks at Shannon, he sees how beautiful she is and becomes obsessed with getting to know her, experiencing romantic desire—as opposed to purely sexual desire—for the first time. His description of Shannon contrasts sharply with her own self-description, in which she describes her eyes as “too big for [her] face and a shocking shade of blue” (1).