Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

In Chapter 2, Brown provides a working definition of true belonging—true belonging is found in individuals who present “authentic, imperfect selves” to the world, and who also possess a willingness to stand, at times, “totally alone” in “the wilderness of uncertainty, vulnerability, and criticism” (32). When access to a sense of deep “spiritual connection to shared humanity” is lacking (33), Brown notes there is a greater risk of individuals sacrificing true belonging to fit in.

This definition of true belonging was derived out of Brown’s grounded theory (interview-based) research on the four following questions: 1) what do people who have developed a sense of true belonging have in common, 2) what does arriving at a place of belonging “nowhere and everywhere” require, 3) do individuals with the courage to stand alone still need belonging that comes from community, and 4) does contemporary American culture’s divisiveness affect a quest for true belonging, and if so, how?

From participant responses to these questions, Brown distilled four elements of true belonging practice: 1) meeting and forming opinions of other people based on personal experience, not stereotypes; 2) a willingness to challenge, with integrity and civility, those who dismiss, misrepresent, or emotionally manipulate truth; 3) joining or seeking the communion of strangers when experiencing shared joy and pain; and 4) developing the courage to defend deeply held beliefs and the capacity to remain open and vulnerable when sharing those beliefs with others.