Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

In a cultural climate dominated by divisive politics and unrelenting media coverage, conversations have veered away from civility, truth, accountability, and authentic identity. At the same time, on the micro level, individuals who maintain a sense of true belonging remain “zoomed in” to the world, advocate their truth, and most importantly, form “opinions of people based on their actual, in-person experiences” (64).

Brown presents three hypothetical examples of how corrosive political rhetoric can be countered by personal experience. She argues that pain diminishes “only when we acknowledge it and care for it” (66-67). When pain leads to anger and is not transformed into a life-affirming emotion or action, it will make people “exhausted and sick” (67). When pain is ignored, it becomes “fear or hate”; when it is never transformed, it becomes “resentment and bitterness” (69).

While enacting true belonging requires people to move closer and (re)build relationships, as Brown’s research shows, boundaries become necessary when it comes to safety. While physical safety is an essential condition for practicing true belonging, emotional safety is equally necessary to protect people from dehumanizing language that creates “an enemy image” that allows for “moral exclusion” (72, 73).