Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause

Watts begins by referencing an email from a friend who left her husband in middle age. She argues that many middle-aged women experience changes in how they relate to others, with some choosing to pull back from certain relationships and others seeking deeper connection. She reflects on her relationship with Billy, whom she married in her mid-fifties, remarking, “Loving him has been the kindest thing I’ve ever done for myself” (178). Additionally, she discusses the stress of raising teenagers and the paradox of the freedom of stepping back from childcare and the grief that accompanies an empty nest. Women in midlife may also be taking on new caretaking roles, such as caring for aging parents. For those with caretaking responsibilities, Watts suggests they should focus on themselves and expect a period of “reckoning with how much [they] have sacrificed of [themselves] to others over the years” (181). She offers a script written by author Eve Rodsky when she confronted her husband about the imbalance in their responsibilities.

While researching, Rodsky found that the two most common emotions women felt during middle age are, paradoxically, “boredom” and “overwhelm.” Watts suggests this can be remedied by being open and honest about needs and wants.