Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause

Watts, like many others, experienced sexual issues in middle age. She began dating a fellow actor, Billy, whom she met while filming Gypsy, and when they first slept together, Watts was insecure about her hormone patch. However, when Watts told Billy that she was menopausal, he was empathetic, sharing his own experience with aging—“I’ve got gray hairs on my balls” (31)—and helping Watts feel better. She reflects on her internalized conditioning to idolize youth, remarking that life is hard enough without “inventing” new stressors, like fighting aging.

According to Watts, although women tend to experience a decreased libido during menopause, many women also “embrace a new form of sexuality that feels good for them, because they know themselves, and they lose the awkwardness of youth” (32). Watts discusses multiple ways menopause can impact a woman’s sex life and her relationships, sharing anecdotes from a variety of women with unique experiences. She cites Dr. Somi Javaid, who specializes in hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). Dr. Javaid argues that biosocial factors impact a woman’s libido more than a man’s, and the menopausal transition can cause numerous biosocial changes, like incontinence.

Watts offers advice for incontinence, mentioning Kegel exercises and methods for managing issues with the bulbocavernosus muscle and vaginal prolapse.