Dear America: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen

Dear America—Notes of an Undocumented Citizen is a collection of essays written by Jose Antonio Vargas, published in 2018. The book relates the author’s struggle of coming to the United States from the Philippines in an illegal manner and growing up in America without the full documentation that would have made him a legal immigrant.

As a 12-year-old boy in the Philippines, the author is surprised by his mother one morning. She rushes him to the airport and introduces him to an unknown man. The man takes the author on a flight and hands him over to his grandparents, Lola and Lolo. The author finds the new country strange. He learns about America through television, films, and magazines. At school, he begins to realize that he is not white, black, Hispanic, or Asian and so does not quite fit into any one demographic. He does well at school and sends frequent letters home to his mother. A few years later, he applies for a driver’s license and is told that his green card is faked. When he confronts his grandfather, he realizes that he is an undocumented person. His grandfather swears him to secrecy.

Around the same time, the author realizes that he is gay. This precludes him from obtaining citizenship by marrying an American woman. He struggles with his sexuality at first. Almost on a whim, he reveals his sexuality to his classmates. The people at school are accepting of him, but his grandparents’ Catholic beliefs lead to arguments. He runs away and spends a month in the house of an older man.

The author learns to play the role of an American. He watches movies, reads magazines and books, and listens to music. Learning about the complicated nature of race and immigration in America, he decides to become a journalist. Having his name on a byline is the closest he can achieve to authentic documentation and it will allow him to contribute to the country where he lives. There are many teachers at his school who help him, providing moral and financial support. Eventually, he reveals his undocumented status to these people. He is worried that it will prevent him from attending college. They help find a college and a scholarship program, and the author attends San Francisco State.

The author begins to take small jobs and internships at newspapers. He lies on the application forms; he knows that this is a criminal act but does not know what else to do. He has never truly felt protected by the law in America, which has always been a construct of power. The author’s journalism career is progressing, eventually leading to an internship with The Washington Post.

To take the position, he must have a driver’s license. After a great deal of research, he acquires a license from Oregon, but it expires after a set period of time. The internship is so successful that the author is offered a full-time position. Though he is happy and his mentors are thrilled, the author’s family cannot help but worry. They are concerned that he is drawing too much attention to himself. This paranoia besets the author. Eventually, overcome by anxiety, he reveals everything to one of his colleagues at The Washington Post. The colleague helps the author and even invites him to his family’s Thanksgiving meal. The author throws himself into his work but worries about his constant lies in a profession so dedicated to telling the truth.

When covering the 2008 Presidential campaign, the author is pulled over by a traffic cop. Though the cop eventually lets him go, the author is so ridden with anxiety that he cannot control his bladder. At work, he is part of a team that wins a Pulitzer Prize. He interviews Mark Zuckerberg for The New Yorker. Despite his professional success, his constant lies lead to depression. After a long writing process and against the advice of many immigration lawyers, he publishes his story in The New York Times Magazine. The article is a success, but the author suddenly finds himself at the center of the story, receiving criticism from all sides. He travels across America, raising awareness for undocumented people. The author practices radical transparency, letting everyone know about his undocumented status, but he is not deported. He hears nothing from the government.

The author develops severe anxiety. He has long struggled to maintain long-term intimate relationships and always finds himself running away when he becomes close to someone. As the anti-immigrant political rhetoric in America increases, the author wonders about his future. He thinks about moving the Canada or back to the Philippines but decides to stay in America to fight for undocumented people. He appears before Congress—at the invitation of Nancy Pelosi—to make people aware of the issue. Few people listen. On one trip to Texas, the author is apprehended by Border Patrol and placed in a jail. He shares a cell with 25 young boys, refugees from Central America. Though the author is eventually released, the others are not so lucky. He knows they will be deported. Once released, he talks with his mother and she wonders whether it is time that he come home.