No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us

Snyder reveals that her stepmother confessed in the last weeks of her life that her childhood home and first marriage had been abusive. At that point, Snyder had been researching domestic abuse for eight years, but her stepmother had never once mentioned her own abuse. This reinforced Snyder’s belief that shame silences far too many victims. Snyder’s father later wept over the death of his wife and then apologized. Snyder assured him that his tears were a sign of grief, not weakness, and that being a man did not mean he should not show emotion.

The Afterword introduces another Michelle, a friend of the author. Michelle’s brother and his wife moved to the same neighborhood as Snyder, and their daughters became friends. The couple decided to divorce, and in June of 2019, when Snyder was returning home from a book tour, Snyder received a frantic call from Michelle. Her brother, distraught over the pending divorce, had killed his wife and then himself. Michelle left behind her home, her therapy practice, and her life in Chicago to care for her two young nieces.