Pageboy: A Memoir

Pageboy: A Memoir is an autobiographical memoir by Canadian actor Elliot Page, who has appeared in award-winning films like Juno and Inception, as well as the Netflix original series The Umbrella Academy. Originally published in June 2023, the book immediately became a New York Times bestseller. Page, a transgender man, details his experiences of being assigned female at birth and growing up presenting as a girl. He explores his journey of self-discovery and the long, painful path toward embracing his gender and sexuality. The nonlinear memoir also explores Page’s sometimes fraught relationships with his family members, friends, partners, and colleagues. Page sheds light on the challenges he faced in Hollywood as a young actor and as both a closeted and out member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning (LGBTQ) community.

In a 2020 statement, Page explained that he uses he/him and they/them pronouns. This text uses he/him for consistency and clarity. Page notes in Pageboy that, “At certain points I’ve referred to myself using my previous name and pronouns […] but [this is] not an invitation for anyone to do the same” (9). Some quotes in this guide are edited to exclude Page’s former name and pronouns for this reason.

This guide references the 2023 Flatiron Books e-book edition of the text.

Content Warning: This book and guide contain some detailed descriptions of self-harm, disordered eating, stalking, physical and sexual assault, emotional abuse, suicidal ideation, and anti-LGBTQ bias. The source text uses anti-LGBTQ slurs, sometimes as an act of reclamation and sometimes in descriptions of anti-LGBTQ bias and violence that Page experienced.

Plot Summary

Through a nonlinear narrative, Page describes his life up to the present day, starting with his childhood in Halifax, Nova Scotia. This summary presents these events chronologically for clarity. Page was assigned female at birth, but he felt more like a boy from around the age of four. Page’s parents separated when he was very young, and he split his time between his mother’s house and his father's and stepmother’s house. Page preferred his life with his mother, Martha, with whom he had a close relationship. Sometimes, Martha expressed discomfort with Page’s choice of clothes and friends; she wanted him to behave like a girl and worried that he might be a lesbian. Page’s stepmother, Linda, was overtly hostile toward him as he was growing up, and Page’s father, Dennis, did little to defend or support him. Page experienced anti-LGBTQ bias throughout his childhood, though he was not yet fully aware of his own identity. He gradually became aware of his attraction to girls, though he also tried to date boys.

When Page was nine years old, he got his first professional acting role. Before then, he acted in a few school plays. As he grew up, he often found it uncomfortable to wear feminine clothing, costumes, and makeup, though he did enjoy acting. An adult man stalked him when he was a young teenager; around that time, he developed an eating disorder. Page’s breakout role was as the eponymous protagonist of Juno (2007), a pregnant teenage girl. In his descriptions of various acting roles, Page notes both positive and negative interactions he had with fellow cast and crew members. Around the time that Juno premiered, Page started dating a woman named Paula; it was his first significant relationship with a woman, though he was still in the closet at the time. Another major film for Page was Whip It (2009), for which he learned to roller derby. Still wrestling with gender dysphoria, Page spent a few weeks at a permaculture course where he met Ian Daniel, a close friend with whom he later made the documentary series Gaycation (2016-2017).

In 2014, after years of scrutiny and speculation about his sexuality, Page came out as gay (he was attracted to women). For the next several years, he was able to be open about his sexuality but not his gender; he publicly identified as a lesbian. His career as an actor continued. In his personal life, he had several romantic relationships, including with actress Kate Mara, who had a boyfriend at the time. Page also tried to improve his relationship with his father and stepmother but made little progress. His mother initially struggled to accept his coming out but became more accepting over time.

Page starred in the remake of Flatliners in 2017. His gender dysphoria made it increasingly challenging for him to manage costume fittings. The movie was made under dangerous conditions for actors and crew, and several members of the production team made anti-LGBTQ remarks toward Page and racist remarks toward Kiersey Clemons, a Black actress. Page started to notice that his posture was getting worse, as he would shift his shoulders forward to hide his chest. Still struggling in his personal life, he felt immensely guilty for having such a hard time when he was, on paper, living many people’s dreams as an actor.

Around the time he turned 30, Page started to think more seriously about his gender. He had been aware for a long time that something about him was different, but he had not fully acknowledged it. He knew that coming out as transgender would be a huge personal decision that might damage his career or harm some of his interpersonal relationships. For a long time, he tried to simply ignore and repress his feelings of dysphoria instead of acknowledging them and finding a way to live that might make him happier. He describes coming close to a realization and then pulling back from it. From 2018 until 2020, Page was married to Emma Portner, a dancer. After their relationship ended but before their divorce was finalized in 2021, Page decided to come out as trans and pursue a social and medical transition.

Page got gender-affirming surgery in November of 2021, shortly before filming began for the third season of The Umbrella Academy, a TV series that Page starred in starting in 2019. The show’s writers adjusted the scripts to account for Page’s transition; his character was also written as transgender in the show’s third season. Looking back from the present, Page reflects on how much happier he is now that he can be fully himself. There were many years when he did not believe that such a life would ever be possible for him. He notes that his experiences are not emblematic of all trans people. He remains close with his mother, but he has not spoken to his father in several years. Page describes a positive relationship with his partner, Madisyn Ritland, but notes that he still experiences anti-trans bias in his daily life.