Pay It Forward

“A teacher nobody knew very well, because they couldn’t get past his face. Because it was hard to look at his face. It started with a boy who didn’t seem all that remarkable on the outside, but who could see past his teacher’s face.” 

This quote serves to illustrate both Reuben and Trevor’s personalities. By using language associated with sight, the Prologue demonstrates how much perceptions can alter the course of history. 

“The principal appeared to be about ten years older than he, with a great deal of dark hair, worn up, a Caucasian and attractive. And attractive women always made him hurt, literally, a long pain that started high up in his solar plexus and radiated downward through his gut. As if he had just asked this attractive woman to the theater, only to be told, You must be joking.” 

This quote serves to illuminate Reuben’s character. A constant victim of his appearance, both as a black man and as a disfigured individual, Reuben obsesses over the appearance of others, especially women. Reuben finds physical discomfort in their attractiveness, the tremors of his emotional trauma manifest merely from the potential for a woman’s scorn. 

“He was a demon about grooming, although he knew no one else would ever really see. He appreciated these habits in himself, even if, or because, no one else did.” 

At the beginning of the novel, Reuben is a selfish individual. Because he anticipates the thoughts and reactions of other people, many of his own actions seem to be self-centered overcompensations. Ironically, this attempt to prevent himself from being harmed by other’s opinions leads him to be emotionally closed-off towards other people, further isolating himself. In order to compensate for his disfigurement, he works hard to present the best possible version of himself, which people often mistake for a kind of arrogance.