Take My Hand

When Civil sees the photo of herself as a baby in her father’s office, it reminds her of the child she did not have. The sudden memory affects her viscerally; she feels a “scraping rawness” (19) in her stomach as she wonders if her baby would have looked like her.

This picture symbolizes the choices Civil did not make and the possibilities of a different, more socially acceptable life. She hides the baby picture first under the sofa and then takes it home with her, just as she hides the abortion from everyone in her life but carries it around.

There is one more reference to the picture later in the novel, when Erica finds it under her bed. Erica asks Civil if the picture is of Civil’s baby, and Civil “swallowed hard” (54) and says it is of herself. This picture, like the pain that came with Civil’s abortion, comes up unexpectedly and symbolizes the unexpected pain so many women in the novel experience around the issues of motherhood and contraception.

Erica and India’s hair is symbolic of their life journey throughout the novel and the ancestral connection that all Black women share. Civil names the symbolic nature of Erica’s and India’s hair when she meets the girls the first time: “All I can say is that their hair seemed a serious thing to me that evening.