Tastes Like War: A Memoir

Koonja was shocked when five-year-old Cho announced that she wanted to be a chef when she grew up. Koonja was disappointed because she was deprived of schooling beyond junior high and wanted Cho to be the scholar she wasn’t allowed to be. The culinary profession reminded Koonja of her own obligations, both to her family and to the racist community she tried to win over with food. As Koonja continually encouraged Cho’s academic prowess, Cho devoted her life to fulfilling her mother’s dream. Cho became a model student, going to college and getting her PhD. However, cooking remained important in Cho’s life, as she gained a certificate in pastry arts and set up her own baking business to support herself until earning a tenure track position at the City University of New York at the age 37.

On March 9, 2008, Cho’s brother called to announce their mother’s death. Cho realized that her mother was the most important person in her life and that so much of their time together had been spent nursing Koonja’s illnesses. Cho resorted to coping mechanisms such as asking exes to spend the night and getting massages from Asian women to recreate a tactile experience similar to one of her mother’s backrubs.