Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect

The four-star review marked a big turning point for EMP. The restaurant was booked out every night. With this new fame and recognition came a shift in expectations: Guidara had to cater to the assumptions of new guests who came to the restaurant expecting a formal fine dining experience without losing the warm and casual vibe that EMP had cultivated. He took an approach he called “earning informality” (181). At the beginning of a meal, guests would be treated more formally, which would give way to informality as the evening went on.

As a server in college, Guidara tried to study the behavior of other servers, identifying which ones he thought were the best. At first, he thought that the best servers were efficient, quick, and knowledgeable. But he soon learned that the best servers—and the ones who earned the most tips—were not the ones who were turning tables over the fastest, but the ones who took time to truly be present with their guests.

After receiving the four-star review from the Times, Guidara decided EMP should double down on hospitality. He felt that the restaurant had already reached a level of excellence that would allow the team to focus intensely on cultivating attentiveness, presence, and true connection with guests.